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An Irony of Shalom

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RESPONSE TO HATE MAIL

Anyone who reads what I’ve been writing about Elsa Newman, knows by now that I firmly believe two things: 1. Elsa Newman is innocent and unjustly imprisoned at Maryland’s Correctional Institution for Women at Jessup. 2. Newman’s sons were in the past and may still be the objects of sexual molestation, by their father, as well as suffering virtually every other kind of abuse: physical, mental, emotional, verbal and spiritual, at their father’s hands. I believe the first because I have spent more than a year researching and writing about the Newman case, and I see so many holes in the prosecution case that sometimes I fear I could fall into one of them and get lost. This woman is clearly innocent and needs to have someone come forward and take on her case and get her out of prison. I believe the second because I have spent more than a year researching and writing about the Newman case, and not only did the boys themselves disclose their father’s abuse–to friends, to their treating psychiatrist, to law enforcement and to medical personnel, but I have even found a witness to the abuse, as well as reports of said abuse, filed by said treating psychiatrist. I now have a third reason to believe that Ms. Newman’s two sons were indeed the victims of molestation and other abuses: I have become the recipient of absolutely foul hate mail, proclaiming me a fat [true] liar [not true]. The writer of this hate mail claims to be Herbert Slobodow, Ms. Newman’s elder son. I am not sure this is true, although it is possible. It has been known in the past–whether because of Stockholm syndrome or whatever other reason: fear, coercion or what-have-you–for victims to side with their abuser. If the author of my personal hate mail is indeed, Herbie, then methinks the young man doth protest overmuch. It would have been sufficient to call me a liar once or twice–but I have received some twenty [ok, I really don’t know for sure; it might be more than that…but who counts their hate mail?] comments and emails belittling me, calling me names, saying I’m a liar. If the author is Arlen Slobodow, then methinks the man doth protest overmuch. It would still have been sufficient to make one or two comments. But now? Virtually every time I post I get a “hate mail” response. Hmmmmmm. Why would a person protest so much, unless the accusation is true? Now the author has threatened me: he says he could post a video on his YouTube channel, so I could see him saying the words himself. Hmmmmmm. More overmuch of protestation. Just so you can see what I’m talking about? Here’s an example: first the hate mail; then my response. —– Original Message —– From: herbert slobodow To: pugbubbe@earthlink.net Sent: 1/24/2009 9:17:34 PM Subject: “responce to yours” No, you are not a feminist, feminist is a movement that actually benifited society, not tried to tear down the other branch, like you try to do to men. You dont know what you are even talking about, if i have to ill post a youtube video of me talking about your crazy self, only fear of mine is that the little hits my channel gets may have to read your black blog of smears my mom has you write, i dont really care, any one with common sence knows your completely insane And how can you talk if you have no idea about this situation, you are completely mistaken, hope your sane enough to understand, doubt it but ill say it one more time, YOU ARE WRITING FOR ONE OF THE SICKEST MOST DISPEAKABLE MOTHERS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND she manipulated me and my brother just so she wins custody and has the house to her and her friendshe manipulated her best friend into trying to kill my dadshe manipulated you to cyber bully me and lie about my dad and try to free this derranged woman who calls herself momshe used to scream at me, drop me off when i didnt want to do what she said at a place i was unfamiliar with and come back 2 mins laterAnd since feminism wanted equal treatment of woman the only thing that could be radical would be the higher treatment of woman, sexism,get your teminology right “teacher” lol need ice for the burn? January 24, 2009 8:44 PM Herbert said… but srsly you cant be that lost to not understand anything i just said and ignore me shes pretending i dont exist because i am an obstical in her crazy world revolving around her idea that all men are evil and all woman are innocent, shes completely lost all touch of sanitymaybe she really is just “moms” responce to my blog, i mean she did say she writes for herand i could see mom being spite full towards men, because the way mom talks about my grand pa herbert sounds like she was abused by him AND THEN MY RESPONSE TO “MR. SLOBODOW”–whichever one of them is writing this You know, Mr. Slobodow–It might be a good idea if you made a video for YouTube. It might be a good idea if I could see and hear the words coming from your own mouth. Then, instead of believing that Mr. Slobodow the elder is actually stooping to writing these and thus ruining his son’s reputation, I could believe that Mr. Slobodow the younger is being forced to write them, under threat of god-only-knows what torments from Mr. Slobodow the elder–and thus ruining his own reputation. OMG–I forgot to tell you! And it’s so important, too! I’ve located a witness who can back up Ms. Newman’s claims that Arlen Slobodow molested his sons sexually, as well as abusing them physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally and spiritually. There was at least one individual who witnessed and may actually have participated in abuse. And there are two other potential witnesses. I am in the process of looking the other two up now. Have a good day, sir–but brace yourself, because the truth will out. Aine–activist and advocate for battered/abused/molested children and the mothers who try to protect them http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Free-Elsa-Newman

Why Would a Son Turn on Mother and Side With His Molester??

The source for this information is SECASA. For further information about the source, please see the copyright notice at the end of this entry.

I must admit here, in front of God and everybody, that I have been confounded by one main question in the Elsa Newman case: in a situation where a mother has tried to protect her children from a father about whom those children disclosed sexual molestation and other abuses, why on earth would the child dismiss the mother as “crazy” and “a hole I crawled out of”—and end up taking the side of his abuser?
Internet research brought me to this site, which contains a wealth of information on that precise question.
Any one of these effects could, it seems—in and of itself—cause a child to side with a molester. Combine them all? And you have a set of effects that might cause horrendous problems for even the staunchest and strongest of human beings of any age.
With this introduction, I leave you to the results of my research. I hope you have time to read it. It certainly offers an explanation for the confounded question that has left me confounded!
THE EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE:
• Psychological Effects
• Long Term Effects
• The Child Abuse Accomodation Syndrome
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• The Stockholm Syndrome
Psychological Effects
1. Fear. The offender may swear the child to secrecy and say that if they tell something bad will happen. Sexual abuse is usually accompanied by coercion, bribery or threats. The child is afraid to tell because of what the consequences might be. e.g. punishment, blame, abandonment or not being believed.
2. Helplessness/powerlessness. Children in this situation often feel that they have no control over their own lives or even over their own bodies. They feel that they have no choices available to them.
3. Guilt and Shame. The child knows something is wrong and blames him or herself not others. The offender will often encourage the child to feel that the abuse is his or her fault and sometimes s/he will feel that s/he is a “bad” person.
4. Responsibility. The offender often makes the child feel responsible for keeping the abuse a secret. Sometimes the child also feels responsible for keeping the family together and the burden of this responsibility interferes with experiencing a normal childhood.
5. Isolation. Incest victims feel different from other children. They must usually be secretive. This even isolates them from non-offending parents and brothers and sisters.
6. Betrayal. Children feel betrayed because they are dependent upon adults for nurturing and protection and the offender is someone who they should be able to love and trust. They may also feel betrayed by a non-offending parent who they feel has failed to protect them.
7. Anger. Not surprisingly this is one of the strongest feelings which many children have about their sexual assault. Children may feel anger against the perpetrator and also against others who they feel failed to protect them.
8. Sadness. Children may feel grief due to a sense of loss, especially if the perpetrator was loved and trusted by the child.
9. Flashbacks. These can be like nightmares which happen while the child is awake. They are a re-experience of the sexual assault and the child may experience all the feelings again which they felt at the time.
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In The Long Term The Child May Also Experience A Number Of Effects As An Adult. These May Include:
1. Depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping.
2. Low self esteem.
3. “Damaged goods” syndrome. i.e. negative body image due to self-blame. This may be intensified if physical pain was experienced during the abusive incidents.
4. Dissociation from feeling.
5. Social isolation.
6. Relationship problems such as an inability to trust, poor social skills or a reluctance to disclose details about themselves.
7. Self destructive behaviour such as substance abuse or suicide attempts.
8. Sexual difficulties such as fear of sex or intimacy, indiscriminate multiple sex partners or difficulty in reaching orgasm.
9. Parenting problems such as fear of being a bad parent, or fear of abusing the child or being overprotective.
10. An underlying sense of guilt, anger or loss.
11. “Flashbacks” and/or panic attacks.
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The Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome
The Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome was developed by Roland Summit, M.D. It is a simple and logical model which can be used to help in understanding and accepting the ways in which many children react to sexual abuse. The syndrome classifies the most typical reactions of child sexual abuse victims, dividing them into five categories.
It is worth noting that children are often put through a “grooming process” before the sexual abuse commences. They are initially chosen for being compliant and therefore unlikely to complain or tell anyone. The offender may then go to considerable lengths to build up the child’s trust, for example the child may be given presents or told that they are “special”.
The five categories of the syndrome are:
1. Secrecy.
Abused children tend to keep the abuse a secret. They do so for a variety of reasons. They may be afraid of the abuser who may have threatened the child or someone whom the child loves. Physically abused children may be afraid of being beaten again. The abuser may have promised safety to the child or child’s loved ones if the child keeps quiet. Neglected or emotionally abused children long for their parents’ approval and affection – they may keep silent for fear of losing the parents’ love.
2. Helplessness.
Children are inherently helpless and subordinate. They are small, dependent, and emotionally immature. For all of these reasons, they cannot escape from a dangerous situation. Children who try to protect themselves are usually overridden by more powerful adults. When their attempts to protect themselves fail, these children come to believe that they are helpless. Eventually they stop trying to protect themselves overtly. Instead they may withdraw, go physically limp or dissociate.*
* “Dissociation” is a way in which some children survive abuse by escaping mentally while the abuse is happening. The body and the mind seem to separate. While the body is being hurt, the child no longer feels it because the mind manages to escape to a safe place. Different children may dissociate in different ways. One example is “leaving” the body and floating on the ceiling over the bed where the abuse is occurring. The child may even watch what is happening but it is as if it were happening to someone else. The child feels nothing.
3. Entrapment And Accommodation.
Children who keep their abuse a secret and continue to feel helpless inevitably feel trapped. However, they learn to accept the situation and survive. The helpless child faced with continuing victimisation must learn to somehow achieve a sense of power and control. The child may eventually come to blame him or herself, believing s/he has provoked the abuse. Physically abused children may refer to their bad behaviours as reasons why their parents must punish them. Emotionally abused or neglected children may imagine unacceptable traits in themselves. Physically, sexually and emotionally abused children may also employ defensive mechanisms (e.g. dissociation or blocking out the memory) in an attempt to accommodate to the abuse.
4. Delayed, Conflicted And Unconvincing Disclosure.
Adults who ask a child to disclose abuse must recognise that this request may precipitate an acute crisis for the child. Initial disclosures may be fraught with anxiety, retractions and inconsistencies. Therefore it may sound unconvincing. Because the child has used various defensive mechanisms to cope with the abuse, memory may be fragmentary, perceptions may be altered and information may be scattered and sparse.
5. Retraction.
Children who do disclose abuse may be flooded with guilt, fear and feelings of betrayal or confusion. The adults’ immediate responses may frighten them further. For example, the child may be removed into foster care, the parent may be put in prison and members of the child’s family may suffer. All this may make the child retract the disclosure. Children gravitate towards the safety of a familiar situation, no matter how painful it is. Most abused or neglected children remain loyal to their families and, if given a choice, frequently want to stay with their abusive parents.
It should be noted that this is a “model” describing reactions, not an absolute. Like all models it does not mean each child will show all aspects of this syndrome. There have been some problems reported in the U.S. with courts taking the model so literally that if children don’t demonstrate all the features they are under suspicion of lying.
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Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is used by psychologists and psychiatrists as a framework for the treatment of sexually abused children. It is valuable in identifying the existence of specific behaviours that should be addressed in therapy. PTSD describes symptoms which are characteristic in many cases of sexual abuse but it is important to note that it does not apply to all sexually abused children. PTSD can sometimes appear many years after the original event. A diagnosis of PTSD is often used in court reports e.g. for applications for Criminal Injuries Compensation. The criteria for a diagnosis of PTSD are:
1. The person has experienced an event that is outside the range of usual human experience and that would be markedly distressing to almost anyone.
2. The re-experiencing of the trauma in at least one of the following ways:
a. Recurrent and intrusive recollections of the event.
b. Recurrent distressing dreams of the event.
c. Sudden acting or feeling as if the event were recurring e.g. “flashback” episodes, hallucinations, illusions.
d. Intense psychological distress at exposure to events that symbolise or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
3. A numbing of responsiveness or reduced involvement in the external world some time after the trauma, indicated by:
a. Diminished interest in activities and/or
b. Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others and/or
c. Constricted affect e.g. unable to have loving feelings or to feel anger.
4. In addition, at least two of the following sets of symptoms must be present:
a. Hyperalertness or being easily startled.
b. Sleep problems.
c. Guilt about surviving or behaviour required to survive.
d. Problems with memory or concentration.
e. Avoidance of activities that arouse recollection.
f. Intensification of symptoms if events symbolise or resemble the traumatic event.
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The Stockholm Syndrome
The Stockholm Syndrome was originally developed to explain the phenomenon of hostages bonding with their captors. The name refers to a bank holdup in Stockholm, Sweden in 1973 when four people were held hostage for six days by two men. The hostages and their captors bonded with each other and the hostages actually came to see their captors as protecting them from the police. One was even reported as later becoming engaged to one of the captors.
Subsequent research found that such a reaction had occurred in allthe “hostage” groups studied, including cult members, battered women, incest victims and physically or emotionally abused children. Researchers have concluded that this seems to be a universal phenomenon which may be instinctive and thus play a survival function for hostages who are victims of abuse.
There is no universally accepted definition of the Stockholm Syndrome but it has been suggested that it is present if one or more of the following is observed:
a. positive feelings by the captive towards his/her captor.
b. negative feelings by the captive toward the police or authorities trying to win his/her release.
c. positive feelings by the captor towards his/her captive.
It has been found to occur in circumstances where there is:
a. a perceived threat to survival and a belief that the captor is willing to carry out that threat.
b. a perception by the captive of some small kindness from the captor within the context of terror.
c. isolation from perspectives other than those of the captor.
d. perceived inability to escape.
The following explanation has been put forward for the phenomenon.
The abuser (or captor) terrifies the victim, who cannot escape, by threatening his or her physical or psychological survival. As a result of being terrified the victim needs nurturance and protection. Being isolated from others, the victim must turn to the abuser for this if s/he turns to anyone. If the abuser shows the victim some small kindness this creates hope in the victim, who then ignores her rage at the terror-creating side of the abuser (because this rage would be experienced as overwhelming) and bonds to the positive side of the abuser. With the hope that the abuser will let him or her live, the victim works to keep the abuser happy. In trying to determine what will keep the abuser happy, the victim’s own needs, feelings and perspectives must take second place and s/he unconsciously takes on the world view of the abuser. The victim sees the abuser as the “good guy” and those trying to win his/her release (e.g. police or therapists) as the “bad guys”, as this is the way the abuser sees things. Over a period of months or years, the victim’s entire sense of self may come to be experienced through the eyes of the abuser. The victim may have extreme difficulty leaving the abuser, if the opportunity arises, because s/he no longer sees a reason to do so.
For victims of sexual abuse, their families and therapists, the Stockholm Syndrome is useful in explaining the victim’s experiences, current “symptoms” and the relationship between victim and abuser. It can help remove the tendency of the victim to blame him or herself for “allowing” the abuse to continue or for “causing” the abuse. It can also help to make sense of the ways in which the victim’s perceptions of themselves and the abuser can be distorted, by explaining those distortions in terms of the Syndrome and making clear their origins as an instinctive survival function.
The following are some common ways in which the victim’s view of their situation can become distorted, with the corresponding explanations in terms of the Stockholm Syndrome:
a. The victim denies the abuser’s violence against him/her and focuses on his positive side.
o Explanation: An unconscious attempt to find hope (and thus a way to survive) in a situation in which s/he would otherwise feel powerless and overwhelmed.
b. The victim feels shame for abuse done to him/her.
o Explanation: Reflects the victim having taken the abuser’s perspective (namely, that s/he caused the abuse and therefore it was deserved).
c. The victim resents outsiders’ attempts to free him/her from the abuser.
o Explanation: The victim knows that the abuser is likely to retaliate against him/her for any disloyalty shown, so s/he resists others’ attempts to free her or to hold the abuser accountable for the abuse.
d. The victim identifies with the “victim” in the abuser.
o Explanation: This represents the projection of the victim’s own victim status onto the abuser. It enables the victim to feel sympathetic and caring towards the abuser.
e. The victim believes s/he deserved the abuser’s violence.
o Explanation: This represents an attempt to feel that s/he controls when and whether the violence/abuse is done and thus permits him/her to believe s/he can stop the abuse.
f. The victim rationalises the abuser’s violence against him/her.
o Explanation: An attempt to maintain a bond with the abuser (and thus hope of survival) in the face of behaviour (abuse) that would otherwise destroy that bond (hope).
g. Victim uses abuser-as-victim explanation to account for the abuse.
o Explanation: This represents an effort to see the abuser in a positive light so as to maintain the bond (since the bond provides the victim with the only hope of surviving).
h. The victim feels hatred for that part of him/her which the abuser said led to the abuse.
o Explanation: To improve chances of survival, the victim internalises the abuser’s perspective, including the reasons given for the abuse.
i. The victim fears the abuser will come to get him/her, even if he is dead or in prison.
o Explanation: The victim knows the abuser is willing to “get” him/her because he has done so at least once before. The victim remains loyal in anticipation of his return.

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Hate Mail–in the form of comments

 

 

I could use a good solid opinion or two here, or even more.

I’ve begun receiving “hate” mail in the form of comments on my blogs and citizen journalism articles. The writer of this mails refers to himself—I assume the person is of a masculine persuasion—variously as  “herbie,” “ herbster,” “herb ert,” “herbisism,” “ashan,” “proceed with caution,” “herbert slobodow,” and “herbie the jew,” among an assortment of other things.

The writer—sorry, but the seventh-grade teacher in me can’t help noticing this—seems unable to spell or capitalize his way out of a paper bag! Now that fact would make me consider the possibility that the writer  is not Herbie Slobodow–Elsa Newman’s intelligent, kind, loving, gentle, musician and athletic son, now fifteen years old–but some other person who pretends to be “Herbert” or “Herbster.”  I don’t know. But I cannot imagine any son speaking thus about his mother: “Your not my fucking mother, just a nasty place i crawled out of….” or “Shut the fuck up mom….you are a crazy bitch and you need some help, but your to crazy to get it, yeah make these bullshit blogs…,” “…my mom and her hitler way of the world….” And these are not the only such things he says. Nevertheless the person who leaves comments for me under these names, says these things about Elsa Newman. If this is indeed a child speaking about his mother, it is a strange thing indeed.

The only possibilities I see are these:

1) Herbert Slobodow has grown to hate his mother and does, indeed, spew such filth about her without conscience and without concern for the picture of himself that he is creating around the world;

2) the material is written, not by Herbie, but by his father, Arlen. Now you understand, Arlen Slobodow is a man who would very possibly consider himself well justified in referring to his former wife as a hole out of which his son had crawled. In addition to that, I have a certain feel for a writer that comes from all those years of teaching language arts. After years spent grading well over a hundred  student papers per week, I find myself noticing small mannerisms, points of style, spelling techniques and inconsistencies, punctuation (or lack thereof) capitalization (or lack thereof), a certain turn of phrase typical of a particular writer—whether said writer is a student  or a literary personage. And here are some things I know of Arlen Slobodow: he is a writer of scripts, which means that he is quite familiar with the process of putting words into other people’s mouths; is it just possible it could be this father himself, the accused pedophile, who is doing this writing? Arlen tends to write without capitals, without particular concern for punctuation and with little care for correct spelling. That is the second possibility I see.

3) Or there is a third possibility: the material could be written by some friend of Arlen Slobodow or some member of his family other than his older son. I have no particular reason to think this. However, I must acknowledge it as a possibility.

Soooo…what I’m asking here is that if you have read any of these comments, lend me a response. Tell me who you think is writing this garbage about Elsa Newman.

Garbage! Perhaps that is too high-class a name for what this person is spouting–as if Newman did not have enough suffering to do on her own, unjustly imprisoned for a crime committed by someone else, and partly for believing her sons when they said they were being molested by their father…for believing the physical signs of abuse physicians found on their young bodies. When a boy’s anus is stretched and broken and bleeding, Herbie, Herbster, Ashan, Herbie the Jew or whoever you are, it is a clear and documentable sign of sexual molestation, whether or not you choose now to admit to that problem.

And at the time that doctors verified this abuse, you, yourself, were clinging to tables or doorways or your mother—begging not to have to go visit your father, and being forced to leave your mother and go to your father anyhow. People who supervised visits can bear witness to that, Herbster or Herbert or sheepsunion, whoever you are.

And now…although I hate to break it to my readers…I have to tell you that that whole shebang above is merely a lead in to a different question. And that question is about slander.

If the person who calls himself by many names , also calls me many names, is that slander? Let me give you some examples, straight from comments left by the (young?) man(?) of many names.

1. “Ann brocken is just mom’s hired writer and so all these articles come from my mom and her hitler way of the world….” [Gee, I hate it when he says that! I have spent hours virtually every day for the past year working on getting to the truth of the matter, and the kid(?) says I’m being paid to write this.] As if Elsa Newman had some source of money when Arlen Slobodow has a judgement against her for something like two million dollars. Guess again, folks! Besides that, you couldn’t pay me for all this work. I write because I believe in Elsa Newman, because I believe Elsa Newman, because I believe the two little boys who said their father was molesting them and abusing them in other ways, because I believe the physical evidence from these boys’ past, and because I believe that this whole mess has been a horrible miscarriage of justice.

2. [Aine O’Brocken] “is just a sick sellout my mom pays to write articles for her. Oh, that’s a name for me, all right—sick sellout. Ptooie!

3. “by the way annie post a blog about why you choose to copy and paste stuff mom writes to you on the internet.” I can hardly do a blog on that, since your mother/ex-wife (or whatever she is to you, depending on who is writing this crud) has no access to the internet and cannot write to me except by snail mail.

4. “Shut the fuck up and leave my dad alone  What about Washington dc, a bitch named anne cyber bullying, libel, and slander.” Bullying,  libel and slander—hmmmmm. Sound more like I’m the recipient than the bullier.

5. “You are fucking discusting.”

6. [You are] “a psychopathic sexist working for a manipulative insane bitch.”

7. “ And don’t lie about yourself, your not little, you fat hell!”  This, I suppose as a response to my calling myself a little, old lady. And as virtually anyone knows, being a little, old lady has absolutely nothing to do with being little or old or a lady; it’s a state of mind. I’ve been here for years.”

8. “Your one sick shit, no matter how much she pays you, look at what your writing! It’s fucking discusting. You know none of that shit exists.” Quite the contrary, actually. The more time I spend on this case, the more I believe Elsa Newman is telling the truth about everything.

9. “you are a sellout and a sexist…your are a sexist nutjob who has some crazy ideas of female supremacy.” Naw. Anybody knows that women are just a hole for the real humans to crawl out of, don’t they? NOT!

Anyhow, to sum it all up, I am asking two questions of my readers, if any of you will be so kind as to comment.

Question one: who do you think is writing this abusive material about Elsa Newman?

Question two: has herbie/herbster/ashan/herb ert/herbie slobodow  (or whoever this person is) has this person yet crossed the line into slander in his/her name-calling and vicious approach to this writer.

 

Please visit one of the sites listed below to learn more about the Elsa Newman case and this horrible miscarriage of “justice” in the state of Maryland:

http://360.yahoo.com/grammapug possibly the best, since it has the highest readership—over 80,000 hits since I started it as a place to write about my beloved pugs; of late it has been more about Elsa Newman

http://www.myspace.com/elsanewmanisinnocent

http://pugbubbe.multiply.com/

http://prisonreform@livejournal.com

http://www.blog.co.uk/user/pugbubbe/

http://www.blognow.com.au/wizardofoz/

http://elsanewmanisinnocent.blogspot.com/

Please visit this site to view a slide show about Newman’s case:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2237419391973437495

PLEASE VISIT ONE OR BOTH OF THESE SITES AND SIGN ONE OR BOTH PETITIONS, REQUESTING ACTION ON THE PART OF MARYLAND’S GOVERNOR O’MALLEY:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Free-Elsa-Newman
http://www.gopetition.com/online/23338.html

HEY! Elsa Newman Is Innocent! What do you think of that?

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How to Conduct a Child-Abuse Investigation in Tampla, Florida, USA

HOW TO CONDUCT A DCF—DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES—INVESTIGATION IN TAMPA, FLORIDA:

NOTE FROM WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE: All comments by the writer are in bold-face type.

Below and in bold-face, you will find a record of significant items that the investigator and the deputy Sheriff either did not notice, chose not to notice, or did not consider as part of this investigation.

Please note that many of the items below are highly significant in view of the fact that Arlen Slobodow has been accused of sexually molesting his sons, as well as abusing them in a wide variety of other ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally and even spiritually.

So…on to the methodology of investigating an allegation of child abuse by social services folk in Tampa. If you were the employee involved, your venture might go like this:

1. Park your car on the street near the house of the suspected abuser.

2. Slip quietly up the front walk, ring the bell and/or knock timidly, hoping the perpetrator will not answer.

3. When no one responds, return very quickly and quietly to your car.

4. Return to your office.

5. Call home of abuser…leave message: “This is Ms. Marvil, of DCF. I will be stopping at your house on Wednesday afternoon, about 4:00 to investigate an allegation of sexual abuse that has been filed against you. Please acknowledge this call, and verify that you will be available during this time.”

6. When abuser fails to acknowledge your call, you make another call a week later, offering a different time, and once again asking for verification.

7. When abuser again fails to acknowledge your call—after another week has passed– report to your supervisor that no one seems to be present in the home. Ask if you have the correct address.

These are children who should have been in school. Where were they during this time?

8. Having verified that you do, indeed, have the correct address, and the correct phone number, attempt another contact. This is your third call, and two weeks have passed since your original attempt to schedule an interview with this alleged abuser about his alleged sexual abuse of his two sons. You may now begin to worry a bit about the children involved. You have in hand an abuse report from a local person—right in the Tampa area, whose identity must remain confidential, and yet you cannot seem to locate either the children or the alleged perpetrator.

These are children who should have been out and about with friends. Where were they during this time?

9. Just for the sake of your own peace of mind, you drive past the residence once more. There is no sign that anyone, children or adults, are present in the house. Very Strange. It has now been three weeks since your original attempt to schedule an interview with this man and his abused children.

These are children who surely would have been seen in their swimming pool—or at a window.

10. Finally, after a full month, you call again, and a friendly, pleasant gentleman answers, (said gentleman offering in his tone and attitude no hint of the sociopathic tendencies you might have expected in a pedophile who subjects his own children to a wide variety of sexual and other abuses.) Why of course! He would be happy to have you drop by for an interview.

Please note that a full month has passed since the investigator tried to begin her investigation

A month would more that provide time for signs of sexual abuse to vanish. In addition, bruises or welts—which I understand to be among other abuses that were reported—would have time to heal

And so the interview—after a month of waiting and wondering if the house is actually occupied–is scheduled as suggested: Wednesday afternoon, about 4:00—only a month later than originally requested.

11. At just before 4:00 on the newly-designated Wednesday, meet with Deputy from the Hillsborough Country Sheriff’s office, on the street outside the home of the suspected abuser.

12. Walk boldly to the front door with the Deputy. He has a gun, after all. You can now feel safe—just in case this Arlen Slobodow fellow actually turns out to be a child sexual abuser.

13. Knock firmly on the door, emboldened by presence of said Deputy and the aforementioned gun.

14. Enter house. Interview children in the presence of the father, the accused sexual predator. This, of course, will make certain that the children, with the support of their father will be a simple interview, and they will be sure to disclose any abuses—sexual, physical, mental, emotional or verbal you’ve heard that they have suffered at the hands of this “grow-your-own-victims-style” predator.

[Yes…of course I’m being sarcastic! No way were these children going to speak the truth about their father’s abuse when they knew full well that if they spoke the truth, they would get the s*** beat out of them when the investigator and the Deputy departed.
These kids are manipulated and terrified by this man. There is no way they are going to be able to help themselves. They are too far lost in what might be called a “jungle of child abuse.” If they ever escape, then escape will happen through the efforts of someone else. Only there doesn’t seem to be much of anyone else. Except me—and who the hell is going to believe an obnoxious, little, old, lady retired teacher from the back woods of Washington State?]

Let me emphasize again the difficulty of conducting an investigation after the alleged abuser has interfered with the time factor of the investigation—and caused said investigation to take place a month or more after it was originally planned.

Let me emphasize again that signs of sexual abuse could heal in a month.

Let me emphasize again that the bruises and welts reported by someone in the Tampa area would no longer exist, after a month has gone by.

Let me emphasize again that the month this father bought for himself by whatever means—a trip?
Pretending to be absent? Locked doors and windows to give the appearance of absence?—meant time for him to whip his sons into line and be sure the investigation turned out in his favor.

15. Take note of two or three toys carefully set out, to prove that the children have toys to play with.

What I know that the investigator did not know, is that these children are allowed to have virtually no toys. Toys they receive from their mother are routinely broken because “These are not good toys. They come from ‘bad Mom.’”
I’ve heard also that there are two drawers of toys—one which the father calls “good toys,” which can be used in his particular form of sexual abuse. These toys will fit easily into a child’s anus, while the father bites or otherwise assaults the child’s penis.
The other drawer contains “bad” toys—gifts from Mom or toys which are not useful to a father bent on sexually using his sons.

16. Take note of the television, carefully turned to age-appropriate children’s programming.

These children are seldom, if ever, permitted to watch television. It always goes on if someone from social services is scheduled to visit, however

17. Take note of food in the kitchen and in the refrigerator, to prove that the children are adequately fed.

Yes…there is plenty of food in the house. Yes…there is plenty of food in the refrigerator and the pantry and other storage places. What the investigator does not know and has no way to learn, however, is that there are times when this father takes great delight in seating himself and one of the boys at the table with a full and tasty meal—while the other boy will actually face a plate with perhaps a single French fry and a drop of catsup—or a single bean, which is all he will be allowed to eat that night.

18. Note the clean house as well as the number of bedrooms—to prove that the children have satisfactory surroundings, and each have their own room.

Of course the house is clean. What kind of man do you think this is? Child sexual abuse in unclean surroundings is no fun at all. And unless the area is clean, he cannot use it as a suitable background for snapshots and videos of child pornography, which these kids have disclosed is one of the things he uses them for.

19 . Ask the children a few questions: Does your father ever punish you? You know the difference between good touch and bad touch. Does anyone ever touch you with a bad touch? Do you always have plenty of food? Is the house always nice and clean like this? Do you like to play with your toys? What are your favorite TV programs?

20. Listen carefully to the children’s answers and record them.

Child #1: Sometimes he punishes me by making me go to my room and stay there for a while. Then he comes to my room and talks to me about why whatever I did is wrong.

Child #2: That’s right. Sometimes he punishes me by making me go to my room and stay there for a while. Then he comes to my room and talks to me about why whatever I did is wrong.

Child #1: Oh, yes. I know the difference between good and bad touch.

Child #2: Oh, Yes. I know the difference between good and bad touch.

Child #1: Oh, no. Nobody ever touches me with bad touch.

Child #2: Oh, no. Nobody ever touches me with bad touch.

Child #1: Yes, we always have all the food we want.

Child #2: Yes, we always have all the food we want.

Child #1: Oh, yes. Our house is always clean.

Child #2: Yes…our house is always clean.

Child #1: Yes. We have lots of toys. And we like to play with them.

Child #2: Yes. We have lots of toys. And we like to play with them.

Child #1: I don’t really have a favorite. I like cartoons.

Child #2: I don’t really have a favorite, either. I like cartoons, too.

Notice the similarities in the answers provided by the children. Could these answers be the product of forced memorization?

These similarities are quite obvious here in my theoretical presentation of the answers. My purpose here is to assist you in noticing that the same almost uncanny similarities appear in the investigator’s report. Could these children have been coached? Could they have been forced to memorize responses? Are they afraid, in front of their father, to stray from the memorized script he has prepared for them?

16. Say 21. Say good-bye to the alleged pedophile and the children. Return to your office and write the following report:

Child protective investigator met with Hillsborough Deputy Lavallee who wrote Report #06-182223. As child protective investigator and [Deputy] arrived to…residence a van pulled up dropping off one of the sons. Family friend stated she took some kids to Adventure Island and was dropping off [child].

Face-to-face with father, Arlen. Father stated he resides in the home with his two sons. Currently [the other child] is at a friend’s house for a sleepover. Father agreed to pick up [child] and bring him to the home for interview. Re: allegations. Family has lived in Florida for about three years. They previously lived in Maryland & Washington D.C. Father stated that biological mother, Elsa is currently serving a 20 year sentence for conspiring to commit murder against him & accused him of sexually abusing their two sons.

Notice that this father—who has been accused of sexual abuse by his sons, rather than by the mother—neatly links the unjust imprisonment to the claim of child abuse and ties the two ideas into one tidy little package, although the two have nothing to do with each other. Notice here, as well, that Elsa Newman has never been the one who reported abuse. Doctors have reported. Police have reported. Friends, acquaintances, neighbors have reported. Teachers have reported. The children’s guardian ad litem—their attorney—reported. The head of the supervised visits center reported— during a time when Arlen Slobodow was allowed only supervised visits.

Father stated mother had her best friend…

This is blatant falsehood. In the first place, Margery Landry was a family friend, rather than just the mother’s friend. In the second place, Elsa Newman, the mother of the two boys, knew nothing of Landry’s plans. Newman was trying every possible avenue of working within the system. Landry was the one who decided, on her own, to step outside the system.

…try to kill him in front of his children in 2002. He was shot twice in the leg.

Further, Landry had no intention of and made no attempt to try to kill him. Landry had a gun because she had previously been assaulted by Slobodlow and was afraid of him. It seems that Slobodow saw the gun when Landry was trying to pull him away from his son, whom she believed him to be actively sexually abusing the boy at that very moment.

Slobodow tried to turn the gun on Landry. During their scuffle it discharged, and he was struck by one of the two bullets Landry had loaded in the clip. Burn marks on his hand seem to indicate that he may actually have shot himself. Although there were both entrance and exit wounds, Slobodow’s pajama bottoms, covered with blood, had no sign of bullet holes. I guess Landry was right about his state of undress—nude from the waist down.

Another blatant falsehood: although one son—the son in bed with him—may have witnessed this incident of accidental shooting, the other did not.

Yet another item of note: Had Elsa Newman known what was going on, she would never have allowed a gun in the same house with her children.

Father stated abuse reports out-of-state were unfounded and…

No, out-of-state abuse reports were NOT unfounded. Abuse reports had been made by such authorities as Dr. Jill Scharff, who was the treating psychiatrist for the boys for nearly a year—and who filed an abuse report. Others who filed reports included doctors, teachers, police, the GAL—or attorney for the children—and others.

…he stated he has no criminal record history.

Slobodow’s claims that he had no criminal record in Maryland are false. He had been accused of assault by Margery Landry, and he had more than once violated protective orders taken out by Elsa Newman to protect herself and her sons from this violent father.

Father state he has full custody of both boys…

No, Slobodow does not have full custody. He has physical custody by virtue of the fact that his ex-wife is unjustly imprisoned. Since the criminal trial interfered with family court hearings, she was never deprived of custody. The two parents actually share legal custody. In addition, Newman has religious custody, which means that the father should raise his sons as either conservative or orthodox Jews. This he refuses to do.

…and is court-ordered to take the boys three times per year to visit mother in prison in Maryland. Father stated sexual abuse allegations all began after divorce/custody issues began. Family has a Maryland appointed [guardian ad litem], Mr. Alan town….[One child] stopped counseling about 6 months ago (Dr. Mark Prang, Psychologist),

Father stated both children are doing very well in school

The boys may be said to be doing well in school if one ignores such things as wild fluctuation in grades over a period of time: anything from A’s to B’s to C’s to D’s— or if an investigator does not notice that one boy turns himself virtually into a recluse during his first period class, a clear sign that something is bothering him.
Might it be that sexual abuse just before he leaves home each morning would cause such behavior?

& he has no concerns for their well being at this time. Father stated children’s pediatrician is Michael Gaynor.

Father stated there are no court restrictions as far as him taking the children out of state.

I believe this is untrue. I believe Slobodow was not supposed to remove the children from the Maryland/DC areas—but he did, anyhow.

The children were born in Washington D.C. But family lived in Maryland then moved to Florida. Both children went to Essrig Elementary.

L. moved to Muller Magnet School & H. went to Ben Hill for one year then Williams M.S.

Notice the frequent changes in schools the boys attended. Such changes are typical when an abusive parent does not want teachers to have an opportunity to observe a child or children over an extended period of time.

NOTE [from DCF investigator]: While investigator was conducting the interview father contacted G.A.L. attorney Alan Town by phone who requested to speak to investigator. Investigator advised a current abuse report has been received in Florida and department is aware of on-going history with family. Investigator advised he will be contacted at a later date as collateral.

Interesting timing for this call. Could it have been pre-arranged so the GAL—the attorney supposedly looking out for the children’s interests—would have been forewarned and available to take a phone call and become involved in the investigation at this time?

NOTE [from investigator], F/F with one child. Child stated he is 10 years old in 4th grade at Muller M.S. Child stated he lives with brother, father, 2 geckos & 1 hamster . He takes care of the hamster and his brother takes care of the 2 geckos.

These animals all seem to have died horrible and unexplainable deaths. The hamster was crushed between a wall and a dresser. One gecko was also crushed. The other was apparently disappeared. This is typical of what happens to pets when children are in the hands of an abuser.

Investigator established [understanding of] good and bad tough. Re: allegations—child denied any
type of bad touch by father or anyone else.

On the other hand, before the boys left Maryland and before their mother was unjustly imprisoned, they had disclosed abuse not only to their mother, but to a variety of other people, including Dr. Jill Scharff, who actually reported the abuse.

Child stated he likes Florida a lot. He stated the weather isn’t as cold as Maryland. Child stated he likes playing on the computer, playing with his hamster or going swimming in his pool. Child stated he has a lot of friends who come over to his house or he goes to their house. He stated he has family like his paternal grandparents who live in Florida and come to visit them. Discipline – Child stated father tells him to go to his room for a while then he will come in his room and talk to him about why whatever he did was wrong. Same for brother. Child presented as an articulate white male with no visible marks of abuse.

Well damn! Of course there were no visible marks of abuse! This father had a month’s warning of the pending investigation! In addition to that, I find it difficult to believe that this investigator would have looked for blood in the underwear from rectal bleeding…or for bite marks on genitals…or for rash on the buttocks…or whatever else would testify to sexual abuse. The hardest abuse in the world to prove seems to be abuse by a member of the victim’s family. A neighbor accused as Arlen Slobodow has been accused would find himself quickly imprisoned and the abused children placed in the custody of their mother.

Child was polite & answered all questions. Child’s facial expressions made an impression to investigator that he has been through this type of questioning numerous times.

Or that he was hiding the truth, for fear of his abusive father’s wrath.
Or perhaps he really had been through it many times, as this allegedly pedophile father had taken them through repeated simulated interviews.

Somehow I have a picture in my mind of this man setting his two sons on a couch and seating himself in front of them with a coffee table between him and them. On the coffee table is a knife—a very sharp knife.

And somehow I can hear him saying, “Boys,”—only he would use their names—“Boys, you see this knife? You see how sharp this is? There’s a woman coming to talk to you sometime soon. We need to be sure to have the right answers for this woman, so I don’t have to use this knife on any portion of your anatomy, if you see what I mean?”

And I can see two young heads bobbing vigorous and terrified assent, clearly aware of what portion of their anatomy Daddy Dearest has in mind.

“So let’s practice a little. Why is this woman coming to see us?”

“H” responds first. “I dunno.”

“L” follows. “Mom has been telling bad stuff about you again.”

“Ahhhhh,” says Daddy Dearest. “L” has the right answer.” His hand moves a little closer to the knife. “Now…the woman will probably ask you about good touch and bad touch. Do you know the difference between good touch and bad touch?”

“Yes, sir,” say the two in unison.

And on and on the questioning goes, with the knife staring the two boys square in the eye, hour after hour or perhaps day after day and week after week—until Daddy Dearest is sure that they have the answers he wants ready on the tips of their tongues.

Not only did this alleged abuser take them through how to talk, but he also worked with them on how to draw. He would take them to the basement and have them draw pictures: bad pictures of “bad mom,” and nice pictures of “dad.”

F/F with other child. Child stated he is 12 years old in 7th grade at Williams M.S. He stated he lives with father, one brother, 3 geckos and one hamster. He stated he takes care of the geckos. Investigator established [understanding] of good and bad touch. Re: allegations – child denied any type of bad touch by father or anyone else.

Child stated all this must be connected to his mother who is “kinda weird.”

RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG! This not what Daddy Dearest has told him to say (which, of course, I know, but the investigator would not have known). It is hedging on the part of the child. Does this kid perhaps hope that the investigator will pick up on the red flag and ask some questions about what he means when he says his mom is “kinda” weird? If so, the investigator missed an opportunity. Her miss could have been a deadly mistake for these children.

He stated he has asked his mother in the past why she does these types of things but she never answered him.

Another red flag! Having taught 7th graders for years before I retired, I can say unequivocally that this is an unusual turn of phrase for a kid in 7th grade: “…why she does these types of things…”

Child stated she has said that his father does all kinds of things that he hasn’t.

Actually, it was the children themselves who made these disclosures of abuse—to a treating psychiatrist, Dr. Jill Scharff, who then reported the abuse; to a police officer who interrogated them for hours in an attempt to force them to recant—and who was finally successful; to a police officer who escorted one of the boys to a restroom, but who said nothing, as well as to many others.

Child says he likes living in Florida because it isn’t cold.

The truth is that when the children lived in Maryland this child loved winter sports such as ice skating.

He stated he has a lot of friends that he spends time with either he goes to their house or they come to his house. He stated his grandparents who live in Florida come to visit and spend time with them. He stated he likes to play video games, tag outside with friends at night or use the computer. Discipline- child stated his father will make him go to his room for a while then he’ll come back and talk to him about it. He stated if that doesn’t work, his father will ground him by not allowing him to play with his video games for about a week or two. Same for his brother.

He stated his brother gets punished more than he does.

Red flag! If one child is being “punished” more than another, this is one of the signals teachers and others required by law to report abuse of children are taught to watch for.

Again, please notice the similarities in the responses of the two boys, as recorded by the investigator.

He thinks it’s because he [the other child] is just younger. Child’s facial expression made an Impression to investigator that he has been through this type of questioning numerous times.

Sure has—during practice sessions with Daddy Dearest.

Residence is a 4 BD/2BA home with no visible hazardous conditions, adequate food & furnishing. Both children have their own bedrooms.

And you will never notice that as soon as you depart, the toys are put away or broken, especially any that might be gifts from their mother…the television is turned off…perhaps the computer goes back on, so the father can go back to work on the child pornography he allegedly makes and collects…the doors and windows are locked…the food disappears to be doled out at the whim of the father.

How in the name of heaven does anybody prove anything about a man like this?

An Irony of Shalom

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SEND A MESSAGE ACROSS THE POND!–FREE ELSA NEWMAN

Elsa Newman is the mother unjustly incarcerated at Maryland Correctional Institution in the United Stated. Her crime? Trying to work within the law to protect her children from a sexually abusive farther.

If this petition does nothing else, I will guarangee one result: IT WILL ENCOURAGE ELSA NEWMAN.

Please join me in speaking out for this unjustly imprisoned mother.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/js/widget.js?petitionID=260097654